Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
