So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
