I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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