u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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