either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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