I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
