super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
