So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
