Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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