I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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