yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
