i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
