Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
