Apparently you make a good broom.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
