How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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