I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
