i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
