Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
