Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize