They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
