Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
