The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am one with the molecules
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
