Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
