You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
