Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
this just has baby written all over it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
