When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
