Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
