shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
