if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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