i barfeds in our rink
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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