her facebook's as public as her vagina
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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