Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
