it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
