Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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