they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
