At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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