I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
