i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize