the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
