dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize