"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
