dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
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