You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
