...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
