So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
