I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
