you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
