Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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