I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
