yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
