I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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