At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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