how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
