I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
