i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
