I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The air taste purple.
Randomize
