chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
