I love black thongs
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
