do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize