Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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