party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
