Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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