ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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