I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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