Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
