three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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