he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
