Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
