He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize