This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
