I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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