i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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