she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
