I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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