If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
