It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
