But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
