who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
