Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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