okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
