Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
