Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
