what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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