I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
